Rabid Statues
by Veloci R. Apter
Summary: Sakura had just wanted to tell them something. But then they start to creep her out like a clown in an office building.


**GAH! Finally! The site has been rejecting my stories, saying stuff like "You're not to supposed to spell 'I' with an 'I'." and "The letters J, Y, A, and W were all in the same paragraph. This is a violation."! So I decided to do a short story to be safe. If they remove this story SO HELP ME GOD AND ALL OF HIS ANGELS!!!**

Sakura was jogging along excitedly to tell Naruto and Sasuke the news (and probably molest Sasuke while she was at it... . ). She saw them at last on the porch of Naruto's house sitting at the small table for 4. As she walked down the street she was met with uncomfortable silence. _"Shouldn't they be arguing about something...?"_ Sakura was thinking once she realized what was missing. Yeah, after a while they stopped hating each other, but they were still rivals, and they still argued like brothers. She shrugged it off. "Hey guys! You won't believe what I found out!" she hollered. Their heads turned a little bit to face her, but their eyes darted from each other to Sakura. This unsettled Sakura _extremely_.

They looked angry. Their eyes were wide and were twitching a lot. Veins were throbbing in their foreheads. Not those sissy (compared to the real thing) X lookin' things. Their teeth were clenched. There was a bucket of oranges and a cooler almost filled with OJ. She noticed that their hands were dripping. She didn't know if they were waiting for her to spill the news, or if they were contemplating what she would taste like with orange juice. "What did"-eyes dart back and forth-"you want again"-does it again-"Sakura?" was the reply of the cockatoo-headed (look it up to get it) emo. It came out hoarse and dry and tired. It sounded animalistic to her. Naruto then re-asked her "Yeah,"-does what Sasuke did-"what did you want"-does it _again_-"to tell us?". Naruto's voice was more pained. Sakura just needed one more hint before she started running. "W-well, th-th-ther-r-re there's-s a L-Linkin P-P-Park-k concer-er-ert this Saturday..." Sakura choked out. Sasuke and Naruto blinked furiously. With apparent relief and at the same time anger they both screamed "OH MY GOD!! DAMMIT SAKURA!!!". Sakura was 'bout ready to haul ass, when Sasuke calmly said "Wait.". Sakura stopped, 10 feet or so away, with her hand reaching for her kunai. "We can explain.".

Sasuke and Naruto just finished dunking their heads in a sink full of water. "So here's the deal. Me and Sasuke got into a staring contest for 2 and a half hours." Naruto explained simply. Sakura was dumbfounded._ "2 and a half whole hours?_" Sakura questioned. She then took the persona of a detective/doubtful wife. "So you were darting your eyes to see if the other blinked, right?" Sakura asked. "Yep." Sasuke said tiredly. "Can I get you a notebook, pencil, and a snap fedora Sakuralock Homes?" Naruto asked sarcastically (no, for real?). "Peh. Was that also the reason you looked angry and pained?" she asked. "Yeh-hm." Naruto answered. "And the OJ?" Sakura interrogated. "We were squeezing oranges" Naruto began, then started to drink said orange juice. "To take concentration off the urge to blink. We just decided to be productive." He too took a swig of his own product (damn that sounded wrong). "You'd be amazed how much stronger you get when your eyes are shriveling due to dryness. Did I mention that it's painful?" Sasuke finished for him. "Ooooh." Sakura nodded her head in understanding. "One last thing. Naruto, you looked like you were about to cry, well, more than Sasuke, anyway. What was that about?" was the question Sakura was interested in. "Oh, well. I accidentally squirted the juice (more sickness) in my eye, and _still_ didn't blink!" Naruto smiled triumphantly at Sasuke. "Anyway" Sasuke rolled his eyes, "we screamed at you-sorry-when you said 'Linkin Park' and 'concert' because we thought ' Hell yeah! A concert!' and lost concentration and blinked, causing an eruption of harnessed annoyance." Sasuke concluded. "OK. I forgive you." Sakura said. "Oh, and, unfortunately, Naruto, through all the torture you went through, Sasuke won. You blinked first." she broke the news to poor Naruto. "NNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!" Naruto wailed.

_So Naruto cried in failure, Sasuke jumped and clung on the ceiling shivering like Shin on Shin Chan 'cuz Sakura molested him, and Sakura was just giggling._

**THE END**

**PS._ I love reviews! Read & review! Wow, I never thought I'd use that phrase._**


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